Buy Nothing – get it all

Sermon on Acts 4:32-35

When we first moved to Berkeley, we found community very quickly. And in a very new way, at least to us. It wasn’t through church because we were attending the church in San Francisco where I served. It wasn’t through sports or clubs, because we couldn’t afford any of that. It was a little bit through school. But then, that was kind of limited as well due to our financial limitations. Playdates in the park were great. Visits at the museum, well, only on the free days or if a family invited us. And preferably not anywhere we had to take BART to, since a BART ride with 2 children into San Francisco or Oakland sums up to about $30 for a roundtrip. 

And while it didn’t bother us to be pretty poor, it did limit us in our ways to connect with new people. I remember attending my choir’s weekend rehearsal that asked everyone to bring something to a potluck. And I dreaded over it because our budget for food was crazily tight. In the end I baked cinnamon buns. Flour and yeast and water was the cheapest way to make something yummy for a bunch of people.

Now, this was not the first time in our lives that we had little money. I mean, we both did our PhD and had 2 kids in that time. Living on a budget was fairly normal to us. But it was the first time in our lives that we lived in a country where even daily necessities like simple food are expensive. And where everything fun kids can do, costs a fortune. And even though we knew that given our education and expertise we would be able to make a better living soon, it was stressful in the beginning. After the first 2 months we figured there was no way to make ends meet. I was about to give up and go home. Then, my brother called and said: You know what, I will just send you the money you would usually have gotten from the German government for your kids, if you didn’t live outside of the EU. In Germany, every family gets $190 per child per month until the child is either done with education or has turned 26. Whichever happens first.

My brother literally secured our stay in the US. And until I started at CTK he sent us $380 every month. And no, he is not rich. He just figured that he had that money at a time when we needed it even more.

But back to us finding a community in Berkeley. Which had nothing to do with money and everything with giving and belonging. I sometimes call the group “my church”. Even though we have all kinds of different faiths. It’s a Facebook group called “Buy Nothing”. It has subgroups all over the US and can be found in 44 nations in over 5,500 groups led by around 11,300 volunteers with at least 3 million participants. Probably 5 million since the husbands often participate through their wives in my experience. And then, there are all the kids, gifting and benefitting as well.

Those subgroups are hyper local groups. Mine used to be 2 square miles. Once we had 1000 members, we split into 4 groups. Now, my group is not even a square mile anymore. And we are already back to 500 members. 

What is it all about? Let me read to you from the buy nothing project website: “Local groups form gift economies. Whether people join because they’d like to quickly get rid of things that are cluttering their lives, or simply to save money by getting things for free, they quickly discover that the groups are not just another free recycling platform. A gift economy’s real wealth is the people involved and the web of connections that forms to support them. Members find themselves spending more and more time interacting in their groups, finding new ways to give back to the community that has brought humor, entertainment, and yes, free stuff into their lives. The Buy Nothing Project is about setting the scarcity model of our cash economy aside in favor of creatively and collaboratively sharing the abundance around us.”

The idea is simple: Give what you have. Ask for what you need. No ask is too big, no gift is too small.

When I first joined, I had nothing to give. We just kept getting things. Beautiful things. My very first buy nothing experience was like church at its best. Someone had offered a valentine themed legging and I had asked to get it. She said: O, I live so close, I will just bring it by on my way to work. So, she came by the next day. She was only the second person who had come up to our door by that time. And she welcomed me into our group and neighborhood and gifted me this legging. And I felt like I belonged for the first time in those 5 weeks since we had arrived. I felt seen. I also really like the legging and keep wearing it.

Buy Nothing has become a huge part of our lives. Anything the kids outgrow, or we don’t need anymore, we gift to neighbors. So many we know by names and addresses by now. Friendships have formed with people. Buy nothing took away the worry not to be able to get what we needed in the first 14 months we lived here. Now, it’s wonderful to give back to the community while continuing to receive. 

Like, the other day, Toni needed new shoes. I asked in the group and not even 24h later a woman gifted her brand-new Nike shoes. A couple of weeks ago a single mom asked for help with cleaning her child’s car-seat. I went over for 15 minutes, done.

Every Tuesday is Tip-Tuesday. Last week’s I liked especially. It said: “We believe all gifts are equal and valuable. Dollar value is not the currency of our group. We value the social connections that are built when we share from our own abundance. Whatever you can offer, lend, or share is perfectly enough.” Doesn’t that sound a lot like the Gospel of Jesus? I have received anything from an opened jar of yogurt to an iron pan or 5 pairs of the best shoes from one neighbor. I have given anything from feathers for an art projects to a tablet and a ride-on-bike. I have borrowed camping pads. If I ever need anything, I usually first check with my neighbors online before buying stuff. I have also offered spiritual care as a gift and have had amazing conversations. Buy Nothing has reminded me of the true nature of sharing. Just do it! If you have it, give it. If you need it, ask for it. There is no offsetting against something. There is no need to directly return a favor. It’s truly free.

Another Tip-Tuesday reflected on abundance. “You may at times feel self-conscious that you’re posting too much stuff, or you might wonder if someone is asking for things too often… When these thoughts come up, remember that Buy Nothing works on the principle of abundance. There is no limit to giving or receiving in our group. Just as there is no limit to giving or receiving, we also believe in expressing gratitude freely and generously.”

In a way, the Buy Nothing project turns our usual ways upside down. Usually, relationships come first, help and generosity come second. That’s at least my experience. You make friends, you build trust and then, hopefully, you can depend on them when times are rough. And, hopefully, you will do the same whenever they need it. That’s how my friendships work. And my family. We share what we have. And it’s great. And I know it’s nothing to take for granted. Yet, it follows the traditional way of relationship first. 

Which is not necessarily Jesus’ way. Jesus usually helped at first sight. No long bonding needed. He acted and then, afterwards, often relationships were built. Help first, talk later, don’t expect anything in return. 

Buy Nothing builds relationships through sharing. And sometimes it’s just giving and gifting without further relationships. And that’s ok, too. And sometimes, it’s just receiving. And no one feels bad about it. Because there is abundance in sharing.

I have seen miracles happen through Buy Nothing. There is large group for the East Bay and often, single moms, some of them homeless, will ask for particular things they need. Sometimes, it’s a pair of shoes or toiletries, sometimes, it’s a long list of bare necessities. People aren’t afraid to ask because it’s ok to ask. Within hours people will offer whatever is needed, arrange pickups and deliveries. People’s lives get transformed. I have noticed in myself, that where I used to think about selling used stuff before, I now just gift it. Knowing that I can ask for things I need, has relaxed me. Being neighborly has become real. Abundance is not just a concept anymore. Sharing is possible. And if every gift is equal, there are no have-nots. There are just people who share and people who don’t. There are people who have learned to be comfortable with asking and offering, gifting and receiving, and those who aren’t. Maybe, that’s the hardest. To learn to ask for help. To find a space where it’s ok to ask. 3 times a day if needed. For random stuff or expansive stuff or both. For anything. Because nothing is too much and nobody will shame you. You might just not get what you asked for if no one has to offer it. That’s the worst it can get. 

It's a lot like the church I dream of. A safe space that meets actual needs and that knows about those needs because people will just say what they need. It’s a lot like the church looked like in the first years after Jesus’ resurrection. 

ACTS 4:32-35 

32 Now the whole group of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one claimed private ownership of any possessions, but everything they owned was held in common.
33 With great power the apostles gave their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all.
34 There was not a needy person among them, for as many as owned lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold.
35 They laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need.

Amen.